Regret
by MegJ09
Summary: Lynette learns of the secret Tom's been keeping from her for the past twenty years. This is a one shot of how she reacts.


**Disclaimer: **I definitely do not own Desperate Housewives. Just a fan writing for fun.

**A/N: **Also, I'm not a writer and this is my first fic that I'm posting on this site. I would love for you to review and let me know what you think by giving any critique you may have.

Thanks, Meg

Tom, in the best mood that he'd been in awhile, happily jogged down the stairs looking for his wife. All of the kids were away for the weekend and his mother had agreed to watch Paige for a few days. He stopped abruptly midway down the stairs as he spotted Lynette. Her back was turned to him, but twenty years of observing her body language let him know that she was unhappy. He watched as she tensely vacuumed their already spotless living room floor. Assuming that she was missing Paige he vowed to cheer her up, even though he was finding it hard to see the downside to having a weekend without the kids in the house.

He slowly made his way down the rest of the stairs, the noise from the vacuum concealing his footsteps, and walked to the opposite side of the room, unplugging the vacuum cleaner from the outlet. She jerked her head up, noticing him for the first time as she made eye contact with him. Tom softened, abandoning his playful mood as he saw tears running down her face. "Honey, why are you crying? Paige will be back Sunday night," he reminded her. Lynette scoffed and turned her back to him, angrily wiping away her tears. The last thing she wanted right now was to show her weakness. She didn't need him to know how much he had really hurt her.

Then, she felt him wrapping his arms around her and whispering in her ear that Paige would be back soon and they could spend the weekend wrapped in each other's arms and making love in the meantime. Every muscle in her body tightened at his touch and she pulled away, but kept her back to him. "I'm not upset about Paige not being here, Tom." Tom could tell that her statement was laced with resentment, maybe even anger and he began to rack his brain, trying to figure out what he could have done to upset her.

After a few moments of silence and built up tension he finally spoke, "Was it something I did?"

"Renee told me." Such a simple statement, but Tom knew it was one that could potentially spin his entire perfect world into chaos.

His breath hitched in his throat and he fought to find the right words to say, knowing that there were none and nothing he could say could change what happened twenty years ago, nothing could take her pain away. Finally he just said her name unable to hold back his own emotions as tears threatened his own eyes, "Lynette," he then added, "I don't know what to say…"

"You're not going to deny it?" She spat, her back still facing him. She refused to let him see the pain that she knew was etched on her face.

"Honey, I never meant to hurt you," he started, but she cut him off.

"So you let me live a lie for twenty years?" Her voice was raised now and angrier; she finally spun around to face him. "For twenty years you've been telling me how much you loved me and how you would never cheat on me, but you did! You've been lying to me for 2 fucking decades!" She shoved him, "How could you do that to me?"

"I didn't want to lose you, I don't want to lose you, Lynnie" he choked out.

"You should have told me the truth then!" Neither of them were bothering to hide their tears now.

"You would have left me, Lynette. You know that's the truth. If I would have told you then that would have been the end," he said.

She thought about what he said for a moment and knew that he was right. She would have left him. He would have broken her heart and she would have left him. She stared at him for a few long moments, "I would have left you, but I would have come back."

"You say that now…"

"I would have come back," She said sternly, "I would have found a way to forgive you, to understand. We were broken up."

He wasn't sure if he believed her, but he was surprised by the way she was acting. He's always known how she feels about cheaters.

"I couldn't take that risk, I couldn't lose you," He tried to reiterate his point, but he knew he wasn't getting through to her. She would never know how afraid and desperate he had felt after he woke up in Renee's bed.

"Why did you do it?" Finally, the loaded question.

He searched for the right words, "I was mad and hurt. You stormed out of our apartment earlier that night. God Lynette, you threw your wedding ring at me and told me it was over. I had never been so devastated. Then, she stopped by to visit you and I was drunk, and she kissed me, and well you know the rest." He said, trying to explain how "it" happened. "But I swear to God Lynette it didn't mean anything. When I woke up the next morning I knew it was biggest mistake that I'd ever make and I knew that I had to get you back, that you were the only women for me. Once I had you back and you agreed to marry me I was too afraid to tell you the truth."

She stared at him, looking deep into his eyes. He could see the hurt and the pain in her eyes. The guilt and the fear began eating away at him the same way it did all those years ago.

"I'm just as scared now as I was all those years ago," he whispered.

Lynette continued staring at him. She began to think about all they had been through over the past two decades. Twenty years and five kids later she still loved him, she loved him more everyday that they spent together.

"I'm really hurt," she said simply. He started to say something, but she held her hand up motioning for him to let her finish. "It won't be easy. I'm going to need time, but I want us to work through this. I can't lose you either," she choked out.

"Can I hug you?" he asked vulnerably. She nodded and he pulled her into his arms, grateful that her heart was big enough to let him back in and feeling extremely lucky that their love was strong enough to withstand the toughest of tests.


End file.
